Forever lost, only memories are left

Person A: How come the topic being preached every Sunday somehow, relates to my current situations and helps me out through my struggles in life? How does the preacher know what to preach that can relate to me & help me?

Person B: The preacher doesn't know. But He knows.

Amen.

"But what if God doesn't open a window? Maybe we just have to go to a wall, draw a circle, and say, 'That way'." - Erwin McManus

Jenny asked me a question today that got me thinking a lot.

She asked me, "so, thought about which instrument you going to focus on & specialised in?"

I've always known this point as both my strength & weakness. Strength is, i'm capable and have the ability to play several instrument, weakness is, I've spreaded myself out to many branches that it's hard to master one skill..

I really need to look into this problem & come up with a solution, I've been praying about it because i feel like I can't come up with the solution along by myself so i need Him t direct me. I'm currently waiting patiently for His reply.

ok. so once again i'm moving website.

http://jaysie90.wordpress.com

That new wordpress is compressed of chinese blogging with english translation.

i'm still keep lj as "friends only" posts. as per usual :p
the whole point of having 2 website is cause i really want to seperate the friends only blog from my public blog. if i were to do a friends only blog, i'll let you's know on my wordpress.

see you @ my new website!

Nina & I are planning to combine my 18th with her 19th! so stay tuned for that.

her birthday's on the 31st May and mine's on the 27th :) & cause we love eachother sooo much, that's the way things are!

we're still deciding on what to do, of course for sure a nice dinner by the harbour then MAYBE book hotel/suite apartments for the night (due to the U18's attending :p) so we can't have it at clubs or starcity.

but either way, i'm excited.

btw, on the 11th Feb, i'm going to do something that i've said i'm going to do like forever ago!

& for those that doesnt know, i've putted B.Business & Commerce @ UWS parra campus as my first preference, uni offers are out in less than 10 days but i'm pretty confident in getting into that course. i'm pretty excited about the whole UWS just cause SU said she MAY transfer to parra campus 2nd semster cos by then one of us will be driving so transport = no problem.

& also cause jackie's there already, havent seen that guy for ages but we've been catching up over msn. so all good.

Need to hardcore practice piano today! playing on sunday....nervous much? heck yes!!!
considering i didnt too well at the final service @ camp..:(

just went out with parents to buy new set of funiture for my room, floor cupboard/storage kind of things. going to clean my room (something that i always do at the beginning of every year) i like changes. i really do!!

seeking office jobs very much lately! i got an interview for a receptionist job at CBD but it's full time so i had to give up on it. :( ouchhh....

that's all for now. :)

I feel so protected lately. SOOO protected!!!
but it's a good thing!!

ok when Mike & i broke up, i had SU&KEV protecting me :)

when i got sick, i had the whole church's prayers to protect me <3
& PRAISE THE LORD! i took a blood test last week, got results today & ALL MY STASTICS ARE BACK TO NORMAL! MY LIVER'S RECOVERED! MY DOCTOR SAID THAT'S A MIRACLE!! IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH!
PRAISE THE LORD, FOR HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!!!!

when i almost drowned, i prayed to God to save me. & HE DID!

when i was supposed to be going fishing, but cos of reason i didnt. i missed out on car accident! it was just SOOO MEANT TO BE THAT I MISS OUT ON IT!

ahhhhh. i feel so spoiled :D

ok this year, im going to try and be less emotional & stubborn.

This will be my last entry for 2007.

let's bring it all back to Christmas shall we?

CHRISTMAS
2 Families came over so it was a very good family gathering day considering we only get that once or twice a year. played big 2 with cousins for the whole night, it was very enjoyable & yes i do miss those times when we were kids :(

--


CHURCH CAMP

Day 1
After arriving at campsite, unpacked & all, shared my room with 5 other people, very small room but i dont mind, more cosy i guess :p
then set up the main hall with sound equipments & instruments, practiced i think? don't remember much.
that night us girls stayed up until 3am or something, playing poker :p





Day 2
Supposely to go to bushwalking but really, couldn't be stuffed. it was like a 2 hour walk & knowing me? no thanks! haha so stayed at campsite with jianne, and we played pool for a bit until andrew joining us for poker :p
omg then it started to pour but after that, it was so foggy and cool, the fresh air from the outback of australia really rocks. so took photos and yeah.



@ night time after night service, us youth started to go crazy with our music. it was a hillsong music disco! haha, we brought back all the oldschool songs such as "tell the world", "all day", "one way", "what the world will never take". it was an awesome night of worship & i'm sure we all enjoyed it heaps! i love my worship/band team SO i want to introduce you to them...:





at am hours we started to play monoply :p only for a while because we were all so tired.

Day 3
Missed out on morning service & activities cause wasn't feeling well at all. so stayed in bed until time for canoeing. dragged myself out cos i really wanted to go..lol but of course, things dont go as planned.
anyways to cut story short, my canoe consisted of 3 girls, with 1 girl knowing how to swim & lifejacket, 2nd girl who doesnt know how to swim with lifejacket, and 3rd being me WITHOUT a lifejacket but knows how to swim. well, our canoe got capsized by some immature aussie blokes that was canoeing in the same lake as us. the girl who doesnt know how to swim started to panic and asked me to stay with her in the water. well...by that time, my legs were so dead tired from keeping myself above water..that i started to give up, i had this feeling i was going to make it, my head started to go underwater, i had no more energy to move..i could hear Su shouting out my name from the shore, but for some reason my body wouldnt move. it was at that time when i thought i'm not going to make it, i cried out to God, save me Father. and miracle happened, a floatie board floated right infront of my eyes and i used all the strength i could gather and grabbed hold of it.
i didn't realised how scary and close i was to death until i got out of water..and started to cry. i love life too much to lose it!



that night we stayed up telling ghost stories with the boys, then we went back to our room & had girl chat until, well 3am for me, but 4am for the others lol.

Day 4
After our last session at the chapel, we packed up & got ready to go :(
last happy camp ever. & it's only my 2nd year!




MORE PHOTOS UP ON MY FACEBOOK!


--


SHOPPING
went post-christmas shoppping today finally after work! been missing out on all the sales :(
not cool i tell you! well today, Andrew bought me my Swarovski blue crystal drops :) thanks!!
& i bought myself a DKNY watch. ouch, shouldnt have but it was an impulse moment, but hey, i still quite like it atm :p






--



THE YEAR 2007
this year was truly a trial. really.
A year of HSC, graduation, him, sickness.
the challenge really began towards late november, i had my breakup with mike, then diagonised with hyperthyroidism, and finally, my hsc not doing too great.
throughout this year i felt like i've grown stronger, really. i'm starting to be more calm about situations and starting to learn how to protect myself.
it's been a year of challenges & events. ups & lows. even though it havent been a really pleasant or smooth year, this year helped to shape who i'm right now.
it showed me what true friendships are & who i can rely on.
this year taught me not to be so naive, and taught me that in order to be happy in life, i need to go for it myself & not expect happiness to land on me.

& most importantly, this year taught me to completely trust God with all His plans for me & don't ever walk away from Him. For He is the life, truth & light.

Time to bid farewell 2007. a year of memories that i'll never forget, but i'm not going to be memory driven but instead, vision driven. it's been a long journey to get to where i'm now & there's couple things i want to leave behind in 2007 but that's in my friends only post on the year 07.

Thankyou 2007 for everything & Welcome 2008!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

will be away from 26th-29th because of church camp!
take care everyone!! <3

xoxo

THANKS FOR ALL THOSE LOVELY COMMENTS, SMS'S, PHONE CALLS, MSN MSGS REGARDING MY HSC :) MUCH APPRECIATED. I'VE DECIDED ON WHAT COURSE I WANT TO DO AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

just cause i'll be the same uni as jackie then we can hang out. lol
oh yeah dont bother asking what i got for uai, not planning to tell.


after work today, met up with andrew then we went christmas shopping,
more like me dragging him around :) but he said he doesn't mind! so all cool!:)
bought presents for my sister & parents
THIS is what i got for my sister: http://www.swarovski.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/WFS/SCO-Web_AU-Site/en_US/-/AUD/SW_DisplayProductInformation-Start?ProductSKU=883551&CategoryName=0104028&ProductPage=1

i'll reveal my parents after christmas, cause i wrapped them already and can't find online.
also bought a bottle of white wine for christmas dinner :)

busy busy schedule ahead, and looking forward to ALL of them!!
22nd: MAx Brenner dinner with andrew, then Dora's house for christmas item practice.
23rd: Christmas service @ my church! then at 4pm, Christmas Spectacular at Hillsong Church @ Hills!!
25th: Christmas, which also mean family dinner. having YUMMy food! looking forward to it. and looks like going to be a all nighter.
26-29th: CHURCH CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo.

/edit

I WANT TO DIE. LET ME DIE. I HATE MYSELF FOR GETTING SO SHIT MARKS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

ALL MY DREAMS, MY PLANS..ARE ALL DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN. FUCK!!!!!



hsc is releasing in 2.5hours. fuck. im so nervous!

HAHAHA GOOD TRY JESS!!

GOOD TRY. next time i'm so going to bake an easier cake. this tiramisu has 3 layers, all being different. - -"

going to bake like a butter cake or something next time. LOL


THE ORIGINAL CAKE


MY FINISHED PRODUCT!


ROFL.

-

ps. 36hours till hsc releases..fcuk!

got alot of photos to post this entry! :)
i think my lj is too dull, and depressing, so i thought may as well add some colours :p
where should i start?

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

From parents: Nike Air Force $149.95



From sister: Intimately Beckham women pack (75mls perfume, shower cream & lotion) $69.95



Jag Large size black leather bag $99.95


From Su: Sportsgirl vest $79.95


(dont you love the back? i do)


RECENT SHOPPING GOODS

NEW Glass!! Prada frame :) a big change! the frame itself was $350 so including my lens it was $600 in total :O



My dvd collection of: spiderman 1,2 & 3. Pirates of caribbean 1,2 & 3 $80 in total


And this is my self: left = my books/novels, right = dvd's. top = ds games :P


shit what a long entry :p
that's all for now.

went to visit quan today at hospital. he should he having his operation tomorrow so all the best to him. but i'm sure he'll be ok, cause he's a strong boy :)

got my new prada glasses too! <3 them.

i look different now with new glasses and new hair style. oh wells all new for 2008!

oh recently i've come to a decision.
"if you want to die it's not like i wont let you."

havent blogged in a while. dont know what to blog about really,
i've been relaxing lately which is good & needed.
everyone's so caring cause of my sickness, anyways i'll be on medication for at least 18months. it's going to be a tough journey but i'll be ok.

work's been fine. not many shifts though so i'll have to look for another job again.

got my airforce nike $149.95 from parents as christmas present :)
and my sportsgirl vest $79.95 from SU :)
& david beckham intimate perfume set $69.85 from sister :)
thanks everyone for spending money on me :) <3 you!

still deciding what i should get myself for christmas :/

9 days til hsc releases :O
and 10days till uai release :O
nervous much anyone?

looking for a new floor cupboard for room. so need to save up for that.

2007 is nearly over. i'm excited to enter 2008 :)

HAPPY CAMP IS ROUND THE CORNER! :D 26-29th! i'm soo excited. it'll be the last year so i'm going to enjoy it and cherish it. i'm not going to let anyone/anything wreck my mood.
also planning to write a song or two @ camp. so hopefully that will turn out ok :p


starting to gain back weight/stop losing weight. standing at 45kgs at the moment.

i would so go for b.aviation (flying) if i have 20/20 vision. really.
i do love my planes....

that's all for now :)

i bought 2 new series to watch at home!
just cause my doctor said i should stay home & rest most of my time in order to get well.

anyways, i believe in healing from our Almighty God. i really do.
even though i have to stay on medication for at least 18 months, i have hope i'll recover before that~! :)

xoxo

Just thought i'll say hi since i closed my blogdrive & migrated all my blog entries to lj :p

HI EVERYONE.

xoxo.

like always;

FRIENDS ONLY!

leave a comment, add me then i'll add you :)

public blog: http://jessiiie.blogdrive.com


originated from jesssiiie